” Dear future boyfriend;
I hope you have a hunger for life, for adventures, and for change.
I hope you believe in freedom, in ambition, and in logic.
I hope you have a passion for books, for music and for dark humor.
I hope you’ll know when to be a gentleman and hold my hand.
I hope you’ll know when to be a man and pull my hair.
In other words I hope you have wilder, wiser and bigger balls than mine!
Mostly, what I wanted to say is… I hope you know that we’ll be something else.”
That’s Lama’s letter* to Santa.
Oh, I mean to her future man.
So many men need to grow a pair.
And it all starts with the dating issue.
I personally want the man to ask me out rather than the other way around.
There is a difference when one party asks the other, depending on which gender it is.
Some guys will say they like it when women chase them or do the asking.
Some will tell you “Oh, he’s shy”. True, he may be, but how come he’s so bold about other things like his business, for example. Or his social activities, hobbies, passions and interests.
If he’s shy about those things as well, then you have a non-interesting person who is uninterested in most things – one of them being you, and you don’t want to have anything to do with him anyway.
I personally like it when the man takes the initiative.
I couldn’t care less about looks; I like a man who’s emotionally attractive.
I don’t want a man who’s afraid of rejection and with a fragile ego (also bigger than his balls.)
I don’t like men who act like they don’t care (or like machos) because of that fragile ego.
I also like men who know how we women think, and act accordingly.
I don’t like men who manage every aspect of their life in a way that they minimize every chance at getting emotional; that they have to deal with their feelings as little as possible.
I like it when a man tells me he missed me, and when he makes sure I know that my presence makes a difference.
That I can’t be replaced by a Rita, Rola, Mariah, Ayah, Jenn, Fatima, Svetlana or Majida!!!
Oh and I like compliments. Not because I want validation but I like to know how you perceive me “outside myself” and that you like what you see. I like to know that you get to see the person I really am. And like it.
In the name of feminism, I believe it’s normal for women to ask men out.
And in the name of feminism, I believe in being free to say and do what I feel like saying and doing and without playing games/waiting days.
But the real me wants to be chased. And asked out on a date.
That same part of me doesn’t want to “play it by ear”.
Or come as second best; “plan B”.
And I want to be asked out ahead of time.
So I can plan accordingly.
And wait in anticipation.
*Been out of inspiration lately. In a lethargic, apathetic state. Thank you Lama for the much needed starter.