Is there such thing as THE ONE?

“This, you see, is my ultimate ambition-to live a simple life with the frog I love.”

It’s not only Miss Piggy; we all want to live with the frog we love.

And we all have a tendency to daydream about finding our ‘other half’.

7 billion people.

My other half could easily be a Japanese chef, rolling sushi.

Or a bohemian writer selling his junk in the backyard of his New Orleans house.

“Perhaps there were no soul mates, I thought, and love was neither written in the stars nor planned by the gods, but a choice, one built of hope and sweat and blood and trust. Not served on a silver platter by the whim of fate, but something that must be earned and fought for,” writes Beau Taplin.

“Love is a form of prejudice. You love what you need, you love what makes you feel good, and you love what is convenient. How can you say you love one person when there are ten thousand people in the world that you would love more if you ever met them?” wonders Bukowski.

Which brings me to the myth of the pre-packaged, Hallmark soul mate.

I don’t know if you have seen the movie ‘The Timer’, where people have built-in devices in their wrists that countdown to the time they are about to meet their soul mate, and beep whenever they are geographically close to them.

Sounds like fiction.

Well, that’s exactly what that movie is. ‘Romantic sci-fi’.

Because… **drum rolls**

There is no ONE.

There are some good ONES for you and some bad ONES for you.

But there is no ONE.

There are many ONES out there for you.

All you need to do is ask your divorced (or widowed) friends and acquaintances who have remarried after their soul mate was gone.

And if you don’t want to ask them, remember your many heartbreaks, and how it felt being in love with that person.

And how you moved on.

And fell in love with ANOTHER person.

I mean yes. It makes perfect sense.

We can like two people at the same time with the same intensity.

It is the one who goes the extra mile to make it work who becomes THE ONE.

THE ONE who wanted to make it work.

THE ONE who made the effort.

Just ask yourself:

1-WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP?

2-HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?

3-ARE YOU WILLING TO PUT IN THE WORK?

Yes, I am a hopeless romantic.

But the truth is, for any given person, there are many suitable matches, and none of them are perfect.

Like everything worthwhile in life, relationships take work.

They have ups and downs, and a strong tendency to ebb and flow over time; but true ‘soul mates’ per se recognize each other’s flaws and overcome whatever difficulties come.

Bottom line, true love is based on a healthy mix of facts and feelings, a special combo that radiates healthiness, wholeness and respect, and a whole lot of ‘healthy’ choices.

What do you think?

 
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